CONSISTENCY

As much as I like talking about religious, political, social and philosophical thought, I’m far more gratified with the arts, nature, creativity and comedy. I’m not interested in preciseness, I bristle at absoluteness and I have no patience for explaining myself. But some things do remain consistent for me:

1. I’ve never run into anyone who was all that wonderful except for Mariska Hargitay. 

2. If I want to get something done and done right, I’ll get a gay guy to do it.

3. Most of the people I look up to are Black and  I'm taller than some of them.

4. All sensations are good and can be fully enjoyed when no one else is at home.

5. There are some truly hurting people who cross my path as I turn and look the other way.

6. Gotcha Graphic is a better term than meme.

7. My sister-in-law is never going to love me, or so she says.

8. The Cosmos was underestimated by Carl Sagan.

9. I don’t like skunks, snakes, mice or bees, and I’m not particularly fond of politicians.

10. Curiosity will always produce embarrassment, restraining orders, and near-death experiences.

11. I’d be Pro Choice if puppies weren’t so cute.

12. Chronic pain hasn’t given me any spiritual insight, at least not until the narcotics kick in.

13. I've always thought that people should show proof that their thoughts and prayers were really with me.

14. I've never been embarrassed eating 4 Big Macs, 3 large fries and 2 strawberry shakes all alone in my car at  McDonald's. ...Suicidal? Sure, but never embarrassed. 

15. The best part of going to an art museum is the restaurant, especially if they sell liquor and not just wine.

16. I always agree with my kids' criticism of my parenting or as they would say ...What parenting?

17. Taking a bath is always a good time to remember when submarines ran on baking soda.

18. Playing doctor is fun at any age.

19. Musical theater is always a source of songs that fit life's special moments ...or at least as far as I can remember the lyrics. 

20. Since I've pooped my pants for most of life, I'll always have a claim to consistency.